Problem Solving
The key to problem solving, is to solve without substituting a different problem (less abusive partner, relying on substances etc.)
When desperate to do away with an issue, quick fixes and lesser problems can feel very welcome. You may start drifting down this road without realizing.
The good news is, change will happen if you really want it to. Is it easy? Not always. However, it is possible.
The saying "Keep your eyes on the prize" helps. As does remembering you're human (not feeling your best every single day. Making mistakes) so don't be too hard on yourself!
Perception
There are people who live by whatever life hands them. They have yet to find their control of creation! If it is technically possible? It CAN be done. The trick is, maneuvering your way from point A, to point B,C,D...
Change!
Cross your arms however you normally do. Natural, comfortable, hmm? Now cross them the other way. Not as natural? If you were to do it daily, it becomes natural. Same goes for whatever you need to learn, to shape your days into how you rather live!
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Step back to take a look at the big picture.
Where you are going verses where you want to go.
Energy
Our demeanor contributes to setting or changing the tone of interaction. Many of us are use to going about our day without observing the "air" we give off. A look, our voice, body language.. More than words affect communication.
Speaking of energy - in terms of Problem Solving: It's expected others will upset you. We all get upset/have bad days. It's ok not to react in a like-manner, nor drag it with you. Be empathetic, but carrying extra emotion (or anger) where it isn't needed, is not helpful to you nor them. It really is ok to let it go. Should you have difficulties letting things go, it may take time, or talking to eg. a therapist, to aid in learning how to cut free.